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He was incontinent of bowel and bladder. We had him in adult diapers. He was unsafe in a bed, and so we used what was known as a Craig bed, best described as a large padded playpen that was about eight feet by eight feet and secured from the outside. 




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At the end of my first shift taking care of him, I was about to give a report and the unmistakable smell of feces and medications wafted to the nurses' station. One of the unspoken but definitely enforced rules of nursing and techs is if it is even thirty seconds before you have officially handed off care to the next shift, whatever happens, is yours to deal with.
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So, what he had done was pooped in his diaper, reached his hand into the feces, didn’t like it, and wiped his hand on the nearest surface. Because he had no short term memory, he did it again and again and again. When I got to him, he had painted the padded walls of the bed, the floor of the bed, and his gown with incredibly tenacious and foul-smelling feces and urine.

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It took me almost two hours to clean him, the bed, and everything else. I had to get him into the shower, and that meant that the shower wheelchair also was smeared with everything. And he kept wanting to pat my face!
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Eventually, he was discharged, able to feed himself, walk with a cane, and speak in heavily accented English. He was interesting for a lot of reasons, but one of the more unusual was that he didn’t understand English if we spoke it as we usually did, we would have to use an accent, any accent, although he remembered instructions best if he was told by someone using an Indian accent. The other two techs whom I shared a shift with and I would imitate his parents’ accent to give him instructions.

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Lori slowly moved me over and walked up to the woman. I could see Lori was mad as hell, someone said something against her younger brother. Her eyes were in that half squint mode which meant ‘look out.’ She was very protective of me, sometimes too protective.

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My client was an elderly lawyer whose mansion I worked on over the years. I ask all customers about their life experience, because I can always learn from someone who had an interesting career. I worked mostly by myself using my back more than my mind. Makes sense that I’d be curious.

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The lawyer told me that he made the majority of his wealth in the 1980s defending cocaine dealers who were looking at long prison sentences. He was considered a top attorney at that time. His clients would pay him large sums of unreported drug money and he would get them greatly reduced sentences for cash under the table and untaxed.

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That’s when he bought his mansion 1985. He told me that the courts changed the law. The drug dealers now had to show a pay stub showing income to afford a top firm to represent them. If they didn’t produce proof of employment then they were given legal aid representation. Which are lawyers just out of school, not connected, nor corruptible being they worked for the government.

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His days of fleecing the system ended abruptly. He found out that I broke my leg on a job when I told him I was laid up for a while. Immediately he wanted all the details surrounding my accident. A nail from a gun went into my leg and broke it. He filed suit against everyone he could. He needed my nail gun examined by his “expert” who charged him ten grand for maybe an hour’s work.

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 I knew he was full of shit. We went before the arbitrator and the company offered me ten grand of which he would make 33% I was okay with it. He refused. According to him that would only cover his experts fee that he paid out of his own money. More lies. At most it cost a few hundred dollars to examine a nail gun. He was gonna rip me off by lying. He called last week needing my services. I never picked up the phone.
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